Saturday, May 30, 2015

No Matter What, Just Keep Going


Absolutely, without a doubt, the single greatest possession you have is your will to survive. When darkness encroaches, when clouds of doom start bellowing above, when you can hear the thunder and your bones start to shake, the ability to say "F%$^K you, I'm not going down like this" is the most precious thing in the world. To have the concept within your mind in times of darkness that "If I'm gonna go out, well then I'm gonna go out punching and kicking and shouting and raising hell" is worth more than all the gold in the world. You can either be filled with fear and dread. Your physical body will be in a negative biological and hormonal state, filled with cortisol etc. Or you can get angry. It's not exactly enlightenment, but its a step in the right direction.

Just start picking up the pieces. You might be totally shattered, but just one by one, try your best to be productive towards getting yourself back in shape. Just start putting all the big pieces back together. Get the fundamentals of your inner engine meshing together again. Then you can focus on the finer details. But get those fundamental processes up and running. To me, it's all about physical and mental health really. Once those are up and running, you're set to go dealing with the other issues in life. But it can be pure hell.

For some reason, when things go haywire, the mind seems to blank out or be reset somehow. It's like starting all over again. And there's a feeling of not being able to drag yourself through life. The energy has been zapped out of you. This lifeless feeling. The colours of life start to fade. The feeling gets sucked out and you can feel a void. In this time, the only thing that seems to spur me on is anger. Thats the fuel. But when your running on anger as fuel, negative behaviours manifest out of this negative state. Whats inside comes out. But what can you do? You cant just skip the que to feeling good again. Youve gotto go through the process. The key is to one day get back to some sort of enlightenment and good feeling place within.

Sunday, May 24, 2015

You Will Find Happiness Again

ready to fight with myself

Dark times are just a part of life. No matter who you are in the world. How rich you are. How beautiful you are. How many friends you have. How spiritual you are. That´s just life. It´s designed to kick our ass. I think we´re here to get an ass whoopin. And if there is an afterlife, we´ll sit back and go "Wooooaahhh, that was mental". It´s like the ultimate obstacle course. 

It´s the nature of duality. For all the good in the world, there is an equal and opposite amount of terrifying, horribly nasty, evil goings on. It´s not right or wrong. It just "is". And so, you´re stuck here with it. From day one to your last, it´s a scramble. So . . . . . instead of life kickin your ass so much . . . . . . . try with all your might, all your bravery, all your skill, become as productive in this aspect as you can possibly be, to kick life´s ass. Push the boundary of suffering and misery back. And go as far in the direction of good feeling as you can. If nature is gonna try and bring us down, I sure as hell aint goin down without a fight. 

I will implement every strategy that I know of. I will look to the leaders of thought and ideas and experience to find out the concepts which they implement, to use for myself. Don´t invent the wheel again. Stand on the shoulders of the giants who have gone before you and use their ideas. And pass your knowledge on to the next generation. But think for yourself aswell. Search your own soul. There is a way to do this. Don´t let melancholy set in. Don´t let mediocrity seep in. Fight like a warrior. Because there is peace and happiness. It exists within duality. 

I´ve been up and down. Everyone has. And when you´re down, you think you´ll never experience the good times again. But . . . . . there it is. And you ride the wave. And then down it goes and you start to spiral and lose hope. It´s just an emotional rollercoaster. It will go up again. Just keep doing all the right things. "If you're going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill

How to Break Obsessive Thinking and Worrying

stressed and worried

Well, I have full-blown, over obsessive, over thinking, worrying too much, whatever the technical name for it is called, characteristics. It´s just a mind that has a natural tendency to break away from reality and journey on into fantasy land. Sometimes fantasy land is a nice place. Sometimes it is pure hell. It feels similar to a maze really. Or a long dark tunnel. And when I finally get that eureka! moment where I figure out how break free of it (present moment awareness) I start to realize how much of my life (maybe the previous few months, maybe as much as a year) I have wasted being stuck in the maze of my own obsessive thoughts.

It´s a tiring experience of always trying to find the answer to something. And it feels like the answer is always just around the corner. Searching, searching. The internal imagery which I associate with the experience is dry and arid. Like walking a desert looking for something. And finally I figure it out again "AAhhh!! Present moment awareness!" and I jump into what feels like a deep ocean of knowingness, or basically, just a better feeling experience. It´s just better than whatever the hell I was going through before.

My strategy, when in the midst of overly obsessive thinking, is to sit down and give my undivided attention to something external. Some meditate and focus on their breathe. I find this kind of boring so I "meditate" or pay attention with pin point accuracy to say.....the radio. Especially talk radio. I love just laying down and listening to the guests they have on; current affairs, sports, entertainment, world news etc, hell anything just to get out of my own mind. It´s an excellent way to get perspective in life. I also get the feeling that it kinda connects me to the world and the collective consciousness.

The really tricky, frustratingly nightmarish thing sometimes is GRADUALLY falling out of this present moment awareness state. Slowly, gradually into ignorance. Basically. I start to think more than observe. And slowly over time these thoughts start to cloud reality. And soon, this thought storm is so thick that I cannot pay attention to ANYTHING! The gradual aspect to this phenomena is really hard to detect. The way I combat this is with notes. I keep a list of important principles and ideas which I constantly refer to to "keep on track". Write it on paper. Save it somewhere on the computer. Wherever. Just always have it around. The foundation really is good habits. Good solid concepts to ground yourself and get a solid footing in life. Then when that´s nice and firm, you can build on top of that. On to better things.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Developing Habits

Juggle Jam 4_27-30

 I´m a great believer in habits. I think of myself sometimes as a habit juggler. I like powerful, practical concepts which have an obvious, immediate impact on life. Things that just click into the gears of life. And you can see the mechanics of the concepts at play. There HAS to be a result. In fact, I like to do away with the science and overly analytically approach to self development, and just ask myself "Can I see a positive difference?" If yes, I keep the habit. If no, see ya habit.

Over the years I have picked up and dropped what seems like a gazzilion different habits. Everyone does naturally. I try and get rid of wasteful habits and concentrate on the productive ones.  Thinking back now there´s been : eat healthy, exercise, read more books, use your imagination more, meditate, running, write more songs, analyze song structures, concentrate on character, study your heroes, surround myself with high consciousness material, improve your memory, go out with friends more often, learn a language, music promotion, movie blogging, philosophize about life more etc etc. What I mean by habits is just devoting a portion of my energy everyday to some of these ideas to slowly progress that part of my life over time. All in the name of trying to improve the experience of life overall.

Some of these habits have more worth than others. I get more of a return, I mean. More bang for my buck. It is really helpful to formulate a big picture mentality and aim for a vision in your mind. So, for example, I will give you a vision of what I would like to experience in my life: I see myself in great shape physically, great shape mentally, having some money to provide a bit more freedom for myself and close family, to have a great understanding of how the world works, to be socially capable, to have fun, to have humour, to have great character, to help people, to create a bit of good feeling in the world, to feel real happiness instead of a mundane sort of "uuhhhh" feeling. So I just pick up and drop habits all in the pursuit of attaining that vision.

Ok, so let me tell you the handful of habits that I invest most of my energy into at the moment (or wish to): healthy foods, heavy weight exercise, present moment awareness of a pipeline of understanding (I will go into this in my next post), and working towards and following a real passion of mine (this blog). The thing is that this is such a juggling act, and actually, within these categories are sub categories and even more subcategories. And the key is to be flexible in life too. Sometimes I am forced to reevaluate these habits when other priorities come into play. But with these few habits, they provide a strong foundation for a good solid experience in life.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Just Put Yourself In The Best Situations Possible

Ok, this is going to take a bit of effort to put myself in the mindset of myself 2 or 3 years ago, but here goes. For most of my teenage years and early twenties, I experienced living in a situation so hellish and grating on my soul, it was frightening. Just pure negativity all round. Negative society. Negative friends, people etc etc. The external has a HUUUUGE impact on a person´s experience, in my subjective opinion, unless your "inner thing" is so solid that it cant be swayed. But I think that for most people, this is the case.

The trick that I found was to stop fighting so hard to "fix" the terrible environment that surrounded me, and to just throw my hands up in the air and say "Screw it! Screw you guys and your crap. I´m gonna find an environment that suits my soul. An environment that doesn´t try and break me everyday". I remember trying sooo hard everyday to try and "fix" the world around me, but just when I thought I had won a small victory, the reality of the overwhelming momentum of the larger situation would just slap me across the face from the other direction. It was like trying to hold sand as it slipped through my fingers. Reality is a hard thing to reckon with. With all your good, idealistic intentions at heart, brutal reality will be brutal reality.

So I upped and moved. First of all I researched like hell to find a job that best suited me. This is the hardest part. Wading through the crappy options can take years. It did for me anyway. I am gonna spend the next 50 years working so I wanted to get this right. A lot of people just seem to jump on the tracks and off they go. I like to sit and get philosophical about it. You need a hustle in life. Pure and simple. Just find the one that isn´t going to break your back, and soul. A job that you kinda jump out of bed to do.

For me it was English teaching as a foreign language. I love experiencing new ways of life and culture, and travel, and this job allowed me to do this. I could travel to any number of countries around the world and find an abundance of work. It´s not my TRUE passion and the money isn´t THAT great. Improving myself and experiencing real happiness is my TRUE passion. But this was a step in the right direction. It´s a nice little carrier job that allows me to travel and follow my true passion as a side hobby. And where did this job take me? Madrid, Spain. Not a bad place to be at all. Coming from a small village with two pubs and a shop. This was pure heaven. The secret? Just plop yourself somewhere where you´re wanted. Where you´re in demand. Whatever your passion may be. Just put yourself in a situation where things are gonna start happening. It takes a bit of courage to make the leap, but the pay off is definately worth it.